And in the beginning….

I’m so excited I want to pee my pants. Well, actually I already did. No, I’m just kidding, I just want to. I feel like wagging my tail until it spins me around in circles and my butt is leading instead of my front and nobody knows who is in control. Yes. That is excitement. This feeling can be directly linked to two major developments in my life.

#1: I am finally acquiring This is huge. Finally, I have found the right group of people who are willing to help me with my website, and who know how to generate traffic, and make all that I want to site to be, possible. I’ve been courting a gentleman named Scott Hancock for about two months now. Flirting with the idea of an actual company running my site instead of one man. I initially got involved with the guy im with now because it was him and his lady, and he did video, she did make-up. Well, they are no more. Now it’s all him and as nice a guy as he is, he just isn’t able to handle all that can be. And will be. I know my fans want to slap me for the shitty way that it has been put together, but it is all a learning process, and just like I’m sure they had to go through plenty of other whores before they decided they liked me, I had to deal with a couple different web people before I decided I want to do it the right way. The real way. The business way.

#2: I just got off the phone with Tristan tarimino, and man. I GOT A GIG WITH VIVID!!! Finally, after all these years in the biz, I feel like my career is actually turning into a career and not just a mindless, thoughtless fuckfest. She and I have been talking about her educational guide to…..(fill in the blank) and she said she has been looking for the perfect person to be her front woman, someone who is approachable, like-able, and easy to learn from. She say’s that that woman is me. ME?????? ARE YOU SHITTING ME??? I mean, it’s one thing to tell me that I get to make movies, and co-direct flicks with her for one of my favorite if not all time favorite companies, Vivid. But to tell me that I am all of these wonderful attributes that she did…well, she pretty much made the past 7 years worth it. Well it would have been anyway, but this is like your boss putting a big smiley face sticker on your reports, after telling you what a great job you did. This is like graduating valedictorian. This is like everything that I have wanted for myself and my career, and more than anything, it just reaffirms my plan to move back to LA and tackle my future like this years patriots tackled that whole “no losing” thing. This is everything. I’m sitting on the train right now, and I want nothing more than to run up and down the aisle, screaming and yelling, kissing and hugging strangers. But post 9/11, that isn’t so cool, I’d probably get tackled before I made it one car. But then I would just kiss my tackler, and giggle and laugh, because pretty much nothing is going to get me down tonight. NOTHING. Even the guy next to me who is totally fine, (and ignoring me btw….) isn’t gonna make me sad. I don’t care that he is more interested in his laptop than my big juicy boobies because, guess what? I HAVE A FUCKING FUTURE FOLKS! I can see myself doing this for at least another 5-10 years, and I can see making a real name for myself. Flame is cool and all, but maybe I will switch it to Fuego. That sounds way hotter. Hahahhahaha……

To be honest, and please don’t tell Tristan this, I am mostly excited to work for and under her. Not even in that nasty way, (hehehe, unless she wants hehehe). Not many women in this industry have been able to approach sex in the healthy, productive way that she does. She is so progressive, so face forward. Her reach extends far beyond that of porn valley, and she manages to connect with people I never imagined would fathom watching porn. Even the format of her films is progressive, in that you can choose whether you watch an educational video, (pop up video style), or just your regular nasty sexy smut flick. I wouldn’t even consider what she makes as smut. Because of this woman, and now myself, now that she has been so kind as to include me, because of this woman, millions and millions of people will have way better sex than they ever have before. Because of Tristan, and now myself hehehehhe, sex will no longer be this taboo naughty unexplained and unapproachable subject. Nope. It will be natural, beautiful. We will be able to take our sexuality and explore it in ways nobody imagined. Normally we choose our mentors. I am fortunate enough that while she didn’t really know she was mine, she chose me. To be her student, her apt pupil. And I will be. I will be perfect. For her, for you and for myself. I can’t wait. My life is truly just beginning, and I am thankful for every breathe I am given. Even this recycled train air. Thank you Tristan, for the chance, and thank you Vivid, for taking a chance. I promise I won’t let either of you down.


~ by Penny Flame on January 30, 2008.

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